Dear Kitty

I hope you haven't given up on me..yet. :)

I had been pretty sick the last week or so. Bacterial infection. Not fun. Had to see a doctor to get some antibiotics and get rid of it. Last Sunday was the first day I could get out and do something. So I went out over to my favorite Astoria diner simply called "CUP." I love the atmosphere there and it's a pretty big place. Service is usually great. Just the perfect place to get a nice big cup of coffee and some banana pancakes (my favorite) on a nice and sunny afternoon. There's a movie theatre right nearby and usually I do both a late breakfast and a movie, but there wasn't anything I wanted to see so I slowly strolled back home and stopped at the barber's for a cut. Monday I headed out to Queens Center Mall. This mall has gone through some heavy changes from the days I used to go as a teen. This mall was my escape for when I wanted to ditch school and hang out somewhere else (before I discovered The Village.) Well, it was either the mall or the library. I bought three dress pants, two dress shirts, socks, underthings, all for the workplace. Mostly from Macy's. There was a time where I lived for shopping for clothes, but being overweight has put an end to that. And it's not fun to see all the younger dudes all thin and floating around buying all the fun stuff while I have to waste it on work clothes. Still, I put a little thought into it and did not skimp on some sense of style. But it's not enough for the Sartorialist to notice and take a picture! haha. Besides, he wouldn't be caught dead on this side of town. He's strictly 5Th Ave, Madison Ave and Soho. Or some other fabulous city in another country. Sigh.

I have a friend at work.

I know you're all shocked so I'll wait until you recover.

She says nice things to me. Things I don't quite accept about myself cause I find them hard to believe. It's been nice. We do things sometimes outside of work. We have interest in the same things that is not easy to find in the people that I work with and possibly the only person I'll know that is right now reading the new biography on Einstein, which I'll be getting pretty soon.

The nice thing about where I work is that Battery Park is right outside our building and we headed out there for lunch today and sat and just stared out into the water where the Statue of Liberty stands. Nice breeze coming from the waters. It was almost meditative and I did not want to leave.

Going through my CDs tonight I spotted Portishead's "DUMMY" and imported it to my player. I'll be listening to this tomorrow morning on the way to work. This album came to me at a time where I was having a very difficult time with my depression. Funny reading the music rags at the time this album came out, they kept comparing it to be most "Smiths-Like." I bought the CD not knowing at all what it was going to sound like and in a day, it was in constant rotation in my apartment. So much that even my roommate began requesting it for his listening pleasure. The music of "DUMMY" spoke volumes to me at that time and I know that when I begin to listen to this album again tomorrow, I'll be riding a time warp back to that place in Tempe, Arizona, the pills and days spent in my bright and sunny room and the walks I took to and fro the clinics and health offices.

The Russian barber said nice things to me. Especially the part where he told me that I did not look my age at all. Aging Queens like to hear that sort of thing. :)

Addition:

Dear bloggers and friends who read this, I NEVER forget the nice things y'all write to me!! I have been fortunate to know some of you and those who have been very generous in sharing the music and kind thoughts!

Thank you.

Greetings from the cubicle

Yeah, that's Tigger with the little magnet sticker saying "HELP" which sits on my cubicle.

So It's Friday and we may all heave a collective sigh of relief knowing that tomorrow we don't need to adhere to any rules other than those we make ourselves. So we get up when we want and go out if we need to and have lunch at whatever time we feel right.

I love today's weather. It's very cloudy with a the threatening hint of rain. I say threatening because it's coming and going little by little. I left my building today and felt the unseasonably cool weather and felt very alive. Yeah, it's a bit unusual that the grey skies and thick clouds can do that to me and not the Sun whom I worship. But I see this as the Sun taking a little vacation and hiding behind these menacing clouds tired from being such a "superstar." Another five billions years to go, Mr. Star.

Anyway, good Friday to you all. And sorry for the lack of postings.

They're not just for decorating

I opened up a box full of books last night. I had put them away for not having any space for them in my previous apartment. So boxed up they spent all these years not seeing the light of day. They've all been read before but, I'm a re-reader.

My first choice was Vidal's "The Smithsonian Institution" - Now in light of the lecture I went to last Wednesday, what are the odds that this would be the book I'd choose to read? I can't remember much about the book. Only that a bunch of historical figures come to life after the Smithsonian closes down. It's typical Vidal fashion like in his masterpiece "Myron." Which I've read many times.

Here's the scoop from the inside jacket for The Smithsonian Institution:

"questions about political responsibility and personal sacrifice are deftly woven into a surreal narrative of quantum physics, string theory, clones, the sexual habits of Eskimos, and the domestic arrangements of various U.S presidents"

Blah, blah "4Th dimension", blah blah "Space-time continuum," - "Einstein" and "atomic bomb."

I don't remember all that when I first read it, so it should be more interesting to read this now as it was the first time.

Have I just crossed the line to utterly boring, yet?

Reflections on Werther

"There is the story of an Englishman who hanged himself because he didn't want to dress and undress himself any more. I knew a gardener, a stalwart fellow in charge of a big park, who in his bleakness cried out one day, "Am I to spend my whole life watching the rain clouds move from eve to morn?" And then I have heard tell of one of our best men that he hates to see the greening of springtime and wishes that, for a change, everything would come up red! All these are symptoms of a weakness of life that quite often culminates in suicide and is more prevalent among thoughtful introverts than one would care to believe."

From "Reflections On Werther" by Goethe

Good thing you're not a thoughtful introvert. Ey?

Are we living in The Matrix?

I had the pleasure of attending a lecture last night. The speaker was Brian Greene. Author of The Elegant Universe and The Fabric Of The Cosmos.

The lecture was mostly about the Multiverse. There is a possibility that because there are an infinite number of universes, there's one universe where there is a world just like this one and you in that world are doing the same things you are doing right now over here. Or that there is another universe with a world in which you exist but there are variable differences. Like maybe the color of your eyes are different or you're wearing the same shirt but in a different color.

So what if it's "out there" stuff. I loved listening to him talk about all these possibilities. Though Brian Greene will have you believe that there is no such thing as free will. That it's a very nice illusion. But that it doesn't exist. Something the audience probably found hard to swallow.

The Multiverse was compared to that of Swiss cheese. Coincidentally, I had a packet of Laughing Cow Swiss Cheese in my bag (you know the ones with the wedges). I have a friend who likes to reward me in cheese. I'll explain some other time.

By the way Brian Greene is a vegan.

To the point, I had him sign my packet of cheese. Actually, I got my friend to do it. I was too shy and embarrassed to do so. But it was my idea. And I only said it as a joke that we should get him sign the cheese. Well, Greene thought it was funny.

The question came up by the moderator if maybe we are the result of one universe in which the inhabitants are so super intelligent that they came up with this computer that was able to create an entire universe and that creation was us. Brian says it's possible. But that he's fine with it.

Are you fine with it?

Greene seems like a super nice guy when even after his lecture, didn't mind a bit hanging around a crowd of people still wanting to answers to their questions. Mostly, I was happy to see a lot of very young people out there who I envy very much. The fact that they get the opportunity to feed their growing minds in this way is wonderful. Greene is only about four years older than I am. He's also a professor of physics at Columbia University.

Missing shows

Found out way too late in the game that Fronline Assembly is performing tonight. I won't be going. But that's OK.

I also know that Skinny Puppy will be performing in June. At the moment, I'm not so sure I'm going to that either.

Thompson Twins Live 1984

Now at Concert Vault is a full Thompson Twins concert for you to hear recorded at the Allentown State Fair (PA) in 1984.